Teaching My Children Cantonese as the only-Chinese parent

I love seeing that so many parents are passionate about teaching their kids Cantonese. I was a part of Cantonese Mommy’s first panel where we discussed various topics on how we teach our kids Cantonese. I noticed that there were a lot of questions from parents like me: born in America (or other English-speaking country), has functional spoken Cantonese proficiency, and/or is the only Cantonese-speaking parent. I didn’t get a chance to go into detail about how I went about teaching my sons to speak Cantonese confidently, so I will share my experience and what worked for me in those early years where I laid the foundation for Snap Pea (5 years old). At the time of writing, Snap Pea still speaks to me and his younger brother, Snow Pea (2 years old), exclusively in Cantonese.

There’s definitely no need to do all of these things. Every family’s needs, situation, and goals are different and it’s important to know that there’s no right way to teach your children Cantonese. I present this as just a list of things I have done that might work for you.

1) Start speaking Cantonese as soon as possible

I started speaking in Cantonese with both of my sons as soon as they were born. We practiced OPOL (one parent, one language) at home — my husband spoke to them in English while I spoke to them in Cantonese as close to 100% of the time as possible. My non-Chinese husband was fully supportive of my efforts to teach our kids my heritage language.

I started so early because I wanted them to learn Cantonese as naturally as possible, as their first language in conjunction with English. I did my best to say anything and everything in Cantonese, and if I didn’t know how to say it, I would look it up in a Chinese dictionary. I had about a year to pick up as much vocabulary as I could before he spoke a word. I wanted to challenge myself to speak exclusively in Cantonese because the more I code-mix, the more likely they will code-mix with me. It’s certainly possible for kids to learn a minority language if they didn’t start as babies, but the route to learning would be different.

2) Speak as much Cantonese as possible

I know I already said I spoke to my kids exclusively in Cantonese, but this is not what I am trying to say here. What I mean is talk as much as possible… talk all day long… and do it in Cantonese. 😆

I never thought it was weird to talk to a baby who couldn’t reply back, so while I was with my babies, I over-narrated our entire life in Cantonese. Truly, I did. I’m a pretty talkative person (as you will see by the length of this post), and sometimes I wish I wasn’t, but I honestly believe that talking too much those early years was what gave Snap Pea the listening comprehension that was strong enough for him to later feel confident speaking Cantonese. Instead of just changing their diaper, I would tell my non-verbal baby that I’m going to change his diaper. I felt like the more verbal interaction we had, the more opportunities for him to learn something new. Here are some examples of how I would narrate our life:

• “Mommy needs to check your diaper to see if you pooped. I’m going to help you take off your pants first. Now let’s open your diaper to see. Yup, there’s poop.”
• “You’re all clean after your bath. We’ll pat dry with this towel first so you don’t get cold. Now it’s time to put on your shirt. One arm into the sleeve first, now the next one.”
• “We’re going on a walk today so we can get some exercise and fresh air. It’s a nice day today but a little cold. Mommy will help you put on shoes and warm clothes.”

Maybe they don’t understand you initially, but with enough repetition, they understand, even if they’re not able to tell you that. By narrating everything, they’ll eventually be able to understand by context or extrapolate what is happening. You can also point and gesture. For instance, if I tell them “Mommy will help you put on socks. Now Mommy will help you put on shoes,” they can see, hear, and feel the socks and shoes that I’m talking about as I’m holding them up to draw attention to it.

3) Translate everything to Cantonese

Generally, we’re told that we don’t need to translate for our kids. If you want them to know that shoes are called 鞋 in Cantonese, you just say it in Cantonese without giving them the English word that they’re familiar with. They’ll figure it out without the crutch of you always translating to English for them.

However, I translated everything from English to Cantonese. Everything. When my husband said something to them in English, I made sure to say it back in Cantonese if I was available. This not only ensured that they learned how to say something in both languages, but it also made me check that I could say it in Cantonese. If I didn’t, I took the time to learn how I would say it in Cantonese and then practice saying it to them.

He likes Mickey Mouse, Paw Patrol, or PJ Mask? We always referred to them by their Chinese names.

I did also make an effort to translate meaningful conversations to my husband, so he wouldn’t be left out. My conversations with my sons were always in Cantonese, even in the presence of my husband, but I made it a point to speak English only when I was directing the conversation to my husband (or other family and friends). I never spoke to them directly in English. Having seen me do this, my son learned to translate for his father eventually. I think all the translating I was doing actually helped improve his comprehension and actually was a factor that helped my son recognize when he was supposed to speak English and when he was supposed to speak Cantonese.

4) Learn Cantonese songs and nursery rhymes

I want to say I only knew parts of maybe 5 classic Cantonese nursery rhymes when my first was born. Luckily, there’s a treasure trove of them on YouTube. I looked them up, studied some, and sang songs between talking too much or when they were crying.

I highly recommend using songs to encourage your little ones to stay interested in Cantonese! Ideally, pick some songs that involve movement by the time your kids are at toddler age. Have you noticed that many of the storytimes at the libraries consist not just of books but songs and movement as well? You’d be surprised how much kids learn from songs.

5) Read books in Cantonese

Read, read, read. It’s so important according to the early child development experts. And if you can, read to them in Cantonese. The reason it’s so important to not just speak but also read in Cantonese is because your day-to-day type of conversations will be very limiting in topic and will not cover a wide breadth of topics or vocabulary. This is important especially if you hope they’ll be able to communicate in Cantonese when they get older.

But what if I can’t read Chinese?

No problem! When I started, even though I could read at a mid-elementary level in Chinese, I didn’t know how to easily buy Chinese picture books so I translated our English board books as best I can, and I relied heavily on digital dictionaries to fill the (huge) gap in my vocabulary. This worked out well for me before I added Chinese books to our home library.

Actually, when you read Chinese books, you have to translate it from written Chinese to spoken Cantonese anyway if you’re reading to young children, so if translating English on the fly is easier, go for it!

Eventually, I did read Chinese books and it is a major reason why my vocabulary has improved in the last few years. If you can afford to keep a home library of Chinese books, having them at home means that you can look at it over and over again, helping the vocabulary words stick. It did for me, at least. And if you have aspirations to teach your children to read Chinese later, it’s important to foster a love of reading and a love of Chinese books early on.

6) Find Cantonese caretaker and support system

I work full-time, so I’m not home with the kids much. Both of my kids went to a family home daycare run by a very nice Cantonese 阿姨 that we adore. Having a Cantonese caretaker when I’m working meant that my kids would continue to have Cantonese exposure in my absence and that I would have some outside support. We live in the U.S. where English is the dominant language, so even though they got English at home from their father, I really wanted to delay the takeover of English as their dominant language. I really wanted Cantonese and English to be on equal footing for as long as I could possibly maintain it.

I also found a wonderful native Cantonese-speaking babysitter who loves kids. She would read to him and play with him when we were busy on weekends. Snap Pea saw her as his friend and loved having her over. As an ABC (American-born Chinese) with limited vocabulary, I needed all the support I could get and she really was a wonderfully pleasant surprise and a friend to this day.

It’s important to point out that having a Cantonese caretaker (whether it be grandparents, a nanny or a daycare) alone does not mean that your child will become proficient in Cantonese or be bilingual. From my experience, what language a child’s parents speak to him (and the consistency in which the language is spoken) matter more than what a caretaker speaks, even if the caretaker spends more hours in a day with him.

7) Start preschool a little later

Snap Pea didn’t start going to preschool until he was 3.5 years old. By that time, he was already speaking Cantonese pretty well given his age and background.

Some people questioned why I didn’t start him in school earlier. The main reason is the same as why I found a Cantonese caretaker: I wanted to delay the inevitability of English dominance. If he started preschool at 2 where English was the primary language spoken and he hadn’t yet developed his Cantonese proficiency, there was no way Cantonese would catch up. Also, given that the public kindergarten curriculum in our state starts from the beginning as if all the kids have not attended preschool, I didn’t feel I needed my kids to have that many years of preschool before kindergarten. My kids were getting a fair amount of socialization from the family home daycare they attend, and I didn’t feel they would get much more value out of attending preschool at 2.

Snap Pea‘s time in preschool was cut short by the pandemic though, so it’s hard to gauge if this decision made any difference.

8) Meet other Cantonese-speaking families

As an ABC with ABC friends who spoke with each other in English, finding other Cantonese-speaking children for a Cantonese-only playdate was not easy. But I found some Facebook groups to meet people and also met some families during an English storytime at a local library. I even volunteered and led a Cantonese storytime at that same local library to help inspire more families to teach Cantonese.

It’s a good idea to have friends and peers for our kids to speak Cantonese to so they can see the relevancy of the language, practice speaking it, see that they’re not the only one who speaks this minority language (that it’s normal even), and hopefully associate it to positive experiences. Moreover, I loved having a group of moms and dads to talk to about raising bilingual children. We share tips, we bond over our shared interest of passing on this beautiful language, we excitedly share any milestones, and we cheer each other on. I even learn some vocabulary from these inspiring parents!

9) Limit Screentime

I know this is in contrast to what a lot of Chinese parents are suggesting for other parents and more in line with what pediatricians recommend for young kids. I do understand the benefits of screentime, and don’t get me wrong… I’ve learned quite a bit from TV too when I was younger. However, I really think the choice to limit screentime in the early years made a difference for our family.

For one, it forced me to do the second thing in this list, which is TALK TALK TALK. By not watching as much TV, I was forced to find ways to entertain and engage my child and talk as much as possible. It also made books much more interesting. Those static images on a page cannot compete with the flashy images on a TV screen, and books are very important to our family and to how my kids learn and develop.

When my child was around 15 months, I did start introducing some television. It was very, very limited initially because quality television that’s suitable for toddlers is hard to find, let alone in Cantonese. English content is better for this age, but I preferred to provide Cantonese media to increase the exposure and add to our family’s Cantonese environment.

I do believe that with Cantonese being a spoken language (you won’t find many children’s books written in spoken Cantonese), Cantonese videos and podcasts will play an important role in helping to maintain the language and can help develop vocabulary. However, I think this is better after they have built a foundation for understanding the language and have developed a love for books.

10) Keep learning

I try to set an example for my two peas. My Chinese vocabulary is not great, but I’m not shy about admitting it to them. I let them know that, as with all subjects, I can’t possibly know everything, so I’m still learning. Sometimes we have to learn together, and sometimes we teach each other. The important thing is that we are willing to learn. I don’t study as hard as I’d like (I’m really hard on myself about this), but I try where I can… and that’s the most important thing.

You can do it!

I hope this list helps young families figure out some of the things they can do to lay the foundation for their children to learn Cantonese. I was really lost in the beginning, but I tried to think about how I myself learned the language in the US and how I could make certain choices to create a Cantonese environment and a support group.

For families with older children, some of the items in the list don’t apply, but I hope that you will still be able to find something useful in creating the right supportive environment for you and your family.

加油！